what’s your sign?

December 14, 2009


Scorpio (23 Oct – 21 Nov)
If you’re swamped with homework and too streessed stop doing it. You’re using homework to fill your void of not having a life. Stop studying for your Psych midterm and make some friends. This may seem harsh, but it’s the truth so suck it up.

Sagittarius (22 Nov – 21 Dec)
Liven up the monotony of life and slap on some bright blue underwear over your pants. Then go through the day making people refer to you as Wonder Woman… even if you’re a guy!

Capricorn (22 Dec – 19 Jan)
This month, you’ll buy a pair of big shoes and you know what they say about people with big shoes… they have BIG feet.

Aquarius (20 Jan – 18 Feb)
The cash strapped pirates have arrived so watch out! Lock up all your valuables and hide all your socks since they’re known for stealing clean socks and putting them up on Ebay.

Pisces (19 Feb – 20 Mar)
The bright torch of freedom has been extinguished and the brigh flag of freedom has been raised so take off your shackles and go outside. Go see a movie, eat a grapefruit or hey! Waste your day on TDW.

Aries (21 Mar – 20 Apr)
Feeling lucky? Well don’t count on continuing that thought. Beware of getting hit by busses and pedestrians on bikes this month. They have it in for you! Best way to stay safe? Hire a bodyguard! But don’t spend all your money in one place.

Taurus (21 Apr – 20 May)
Don’t ask why, but in case of emergency… STOP, DROP and ROLL!

Gemini (21 May – 20 Jun)
Keep your eyes peeled for oranges. Iif you are bikinig to work make sure to orange-proof your bike. They can and will do damage so dont say we didn’t warn you.

Cancer (21 Jun – 22 Jul)
You will probably fail in everything you do this month. Solution? Don’t try! Lock yourself in your room for the month playing Death Metal. Don’t come out until the month is over. Although, be sure to stash food in your room in order not to starve.

Leo (23 Jul – 22 Aug)
Think this day will be different then the rest? It won’t. Expect 3 more weeks of not knowing why you get out of bed in the morning. Try exercising and not eating two tubs of ice cream. Good luck… it’s suck.

Virgo (23 Aug – 22 Sep)
Love will come knocking on your door! And by “love” – we mean more homework… Sorry to get your romantic hopes up.

Libra (23 Sep – 22 Oct)
Feeling down this month? Yeah, the reason probably being your lack of friends or perhaps your lack of interesting thoughts. Try to improve both. In the mean time continue to play solitaire in the dark. It’s not really that pathetic…
 

 

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